i grasp at smoke seeking solidity

feeling punch drunk
reeling from another
trip into the darkness
where each time i
reemerge i leave a
little something behind
rubberbanding back
from a walking nightmare
trying to find my
footing on uneven soil
my soul aches a dull throb
as i reach for the light
yet it shies away
demure in its pestilence
this innocent disaster
slipping from my grasp
in everything there needs
to be a balance but my
fractured psyche is always
chasing that next escape
a hamster in a wheel
running faster and faster
as the flames slowly
consume the plastic cage
striving to even out the
brass scales yet knowing
my heart is heavier than
a metfic ton of feathers
i live in the bottom of
the bottles i do not drink
intoxicated on the fumes
of which i cannot inhale
for fear of slipping
ever downdowndown into the
muck slowly rising around
my shivering ankles to
eventually swallow me whole
spitting up blood to write
love letters in my own
indecipherable cursive
punch drunk from another
clumsy fall from grace to
land facefirst in reality
uncertain if it is ink
or sin dripping from my
hazel mental incontinence
just knowing that this
life will most certainly
be the death of me


2 thoughts on “i grasp at smoke seeking solidity

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