it took me
a few minutes
to figure out
where i was
when my eyes opened
and the room
slowly swam
into focus
i had fallen asleep
on the couch
a sentence left
half written
a cup of coffee
gone cold with
an oil slick
catching the
faery lights
and a dull ache
where someone had
pounded a spike
through my temples
my neck screamed
from the odd angle
it had been
subjected to
the last two hours

i drank the coffee
eager to make
a fresh pot yet
unable to waste
the swill sitting
then i forced myself
into awkward motion
looking for a
new reason to
continue this farce
the promise of
two days off doing
little to extinguish
the sadness poking
like broken ribs
with every inhalation
trying not to
think too much
knowing that only
leads to darkness
waiting for the birds
to sound the arrival
of sunshine at
the eastern door

sleepwalking through
a mourning routine
where i categorize
each reason to
keep myself mobile
no kids
an hour of existence
each morning before
falling back into
semi lucid stasis
researching stories
i never seem
to quite finish
trapped in my head
with no promise
of a better tomorrow
left to linger
listless and alone
in a hellstorm of
my own lackings
crass and lackadaisical
aloof in miseries
self manufactured
as i mine the depths
of insular sadnesses
incapable of rest
except in stolen gasps
of contortionist
naps wherever the
exhaustion decides
to consume consciousness
stiff and aching
as another cluster
showers lavender flashes
over the salted soil
in which happiness
remains interred

the coffee maker
sputters and hisses
speaking an alien tongue
of caffeinated spite
in dark drips
as i watch the ripples
in the glass carafe
remembering when
i would rise and shine
spry and excited
to face the next
round of existence
banishing thought
sending tidings of
good morning to her
before falling back
into the ticking of
the doomsday clock
drawing ever closer
to the final alarm
another case of these
friday morning blues
staring at a face
i used to know
staring back at me
fron the mirror
wondering why
we even bother trying