faster and faster

i am a
bipolar butterfly
chronicling my
fluctuations
of shimmering madness
maintaining a
factual log in
metaphoric nonsense
of my yoyo soul
oscillating
ever faster
from north to south

it has been
quite difficult
going from grub
always starving
consuming as much
as i can
gorge myself upon
yet never reaching
the peace of
my silken tomb
restlessly weaving
finding no rest

only to eventually
pass out and awaken
with no mouth
my tattered wings
trailing behind me
seeking to soar
before the inevitable
entropy consumes me
spreading my spore
in spiteful longing
only to putrefy
in my own sorrows
reborn a grub again

the cycles speed up
faster and faster
until i no longer
unfurl my wings
before collapsing in
upon myself once more
no moments of freedom
no lurching flights
just constant dying
crushed by the black hole
swirling in my chest
faster snd faster

i am a yoyo
the string frays
i know i will soon
be flung into the
pulsating nothingness
reabsorbed finally
ending this horrorshow
no more emptiness
eschewing the rare calm
for an eternity of
embracing the absence
to sleep without dream
to never wake again
into this nightmare
of insatiable longing

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