better is illusionary

it has been so long
since i felt like myself
that i can’t help but
question if this is
really who i once was
or what i have become
after being detached from
the fragmented shards of
my elusive delusionary
soulscattered regrets
my skin is unfamiliar
as i roam about underground
in concrete caverns with
yellowed sodium glare
mocking the sunshine
so carefully buried behind
the constant sea of gray
a swarm of half congealed
storms in lackadaisical
meanderings that is
virtually indistinguishable
from the emptiness in
my own hazel emptiness

slowly divesting myself
from the leeches perched
upon the bare branches above
the walkways between the
destinations unfathomable
scurrying about to find
the pieces blown free from
my marionette despondency
half empty from giving
all i can muster as they
ignore my fluttering sorrow
from being a baleful stain
marring their view of this
forever altered skyline
burrowing deeper into the
seedy underbelly of hope
where the cockroaches hiss
at the naivety of a fool
in a relapsing wellness as
the maggots feast in fecundity
on the bare bits left behind

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