he is crude
curses like a sailor
writes what he thinks as he thinks it
doesn’t take the time to think it through
it is how he is
scenes open in his mind and he relates them as best he can
not fantasies
not really
just sees images of things and tries to sculpt them put of word
his fingers not good at clay
he sketched as a kid but let that skill deteriorate over time
could never draw what his mind showed him
so he began to spill it onto the page
his heart in his sleeve he vetured out into the world and tried very hard to give it away
it was more of a rental service he discovered
someone would see it
think it looked good
take it home
eventually abuse it and send it back in a package with no return address
this is his cycle
he took time off from the mailing industry
let his heart heal
found someone to send it to again
but she refused delivery
has her reasons for not wanting it
he gets it
doesn’t make it any less painful
so he takes some more time to try and recuperate
make himself less of a mistake
but he worries
maybe he should just seal the box and store it in the basement
if no one wants it
and he clearly cannot take care of it
what use is it
these questions haunt him
as his allergies flare and he spent a day with a sick kid
the silence weighing down
he began to realize he is a joke
one without a punchline
just an unfunny one liner
or maybe he is the punchline but he doesn’t know the body of the joke itself
all he knows is whatever he tries blows up in his face
talks too much it is used against him
too quiet and it all falls apart
he doesn’t do games unless there is a controller
and not with his heart
so when he called out to me for advice i had none to give
just keep on keeping on
one day it will happen
or it won’t
that is the way of things
just keep writing your truth
sketch those images
and someone will love them as much as you do
he looked at me
hurt in his eyes
the green faded to brown in sorrow
he has about given up
and as i turned the light off, he stood staring at me in the darkness
we turned in perfect unison and walked away
heads down
chin on chest
wondering what the joke is