once when i was younger

not so young as to no better

but young enough not to care much either

i got fired from a job

it was a shitty job

didn’t pay well

cold calling people with pre-approved credit cards and accidental death and dismemberment insurance

basically scam artisting my way out of adolescence and into adulthood

we would get new numbers at the beginning of the month and as the month dragged on we got the same answering machines and disconnected numbers

so at the first of the month the fish were fresh and easy to catch

as it dragged on it became a chore

i’d stopped caring about it

didn’t want the hassle

quit a promising career in sandwich artistry for this gig

and the end of the month had been horrible

a constant string of call screening and assholes

on the first of the month my boss took me to the side

hit quota by lunch or you’re canned

new numbers meant easy picking

had my goal

she fired me anyway

said if it was that easy i must not have been trying

a little of each

if i’m being transparent

but i was filled with spirit and righteous indignation

two things i’ve managed to hold onto over the years since

to my joy and detriment

i was beyond words furious

well

not beyond words

i let loose a string of them as i stood on the desk

the boss’s last name was kincaid

and she had a taste for the white powder

all the higher ups did

i was bottom of the scrotum pole so i could only afford weed

the nose candy being too pricy and not lasting nearly long enough for my taste

so i sang cocaine by clapton

but changed the chorus to

she tells lies she tells lies she tells lies

kincaid

got a standing ovation for my lyrical prowess

not a skill i have since maintained

when i got in the car and started the drive home

anger coursing through me like electricity

i punched the steering wheel

just laid into with all my rage and frustration

a little too hard

instead of feeling better

instead of having gotten it out of my system

the horn got stuck

so there i am

fury incarnate

driving across the bridge with my horn blaring and everyone staring at me

when i finally got home i punched it again and the horn died with a piteous whimper

when i got inside i called my girlfriend

the love of my life

at least i thought she was

and she listened to me rant and rave about the injustice of it all

how nothing ever went my way

that’s when she dumped me

absolutely perfect timing

she visits in my dreams occasionally

the vibrant petite little thing of teenage hormones and sweaty illinois nights

but when i hear cocaine i always come back to that moment

of standing on the desk

the look of fear on my bosses faces as the loose cannon explodes

and i smile

forever is a myth was my take of that night

one that stayed with me ever since

she tells lies she tells lies she tells lies

kincaid