don’t want to be fixed

she stared deeply into my eyes and whispered

i love you

i shook my head sadly and turned to walk away

why do you think you love me

she held my shirt sleeve

preventing me from leaving

forcing me to stay

i fell in love with your words

your hurt

you are broken

but i can fix you

and that is why i am leaving

you aren’t in love with me

you want to fix me

but if you loved me

truly

you would be okay with broken

i can’t be fixed

not on purpose

and if i could you would grow bored once the project was over

and then i would be broken again

but it would be fresh

you’re in love with the idea of me

but not the reality

fall in love with a real poet

one that’s dead

you don’t have to worry about fixing their rotted corpse

and their words are already written

but i love you

and i love you

but i love you you

not the fixer upper you see in my face

you love the idea of taking these broken bits and forging whatever image of me you see fit

cannot leave well enough alone

i want you as you are

you want me in a new form

that’s not love

it is charity

adoption

you don’t want to be loved

i don’t want to be hurt

i don’t want to be changed simply because you want to change me

i want to grow

become something more

naturally come back together again

not through intent

but through nature

every new seam you force

it becomes a stress point when you leave

a new doubt

put away your super glue darling

love me for the sharp stabbing bits

the ugly smears of doubt

these things can be buffed out gradually

by life

i do love you

than don’t try and change me

accept me as is

but i can fix you

but i don’t want to be fixed

17 thoughts on “don’t want to be fixed

  1. Mike, no one can ever fix anyone. It takes a good hard look in the mirror and start there. How sweet that someone fell in love with your words. Me, I had appreciated your talent in the craft of writing. Good luck in your endeavors.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. god. Yeah. I’ve experienced this. Someone wanted me just so he could fix me… then he realized he couldn’t fix me and it was all done for him. He very quickly moved on to the next person to fix. While I understand it’s in his nature to fix things, it hurt nonetheless. To be given up on and passed over so easily and quickly. That really showed me what I truly was to him: a project. Like that piece of furniture you fix up and resell. While I don’t mind the idea of being “fixed”, I think it should be an organic mutual healing. We will always have scars. I fall in love with the broken pieces too, not just the idea of what he could be when I “fix” him. I want the whole man, not just my ideal of the man.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Speak my mind, just speak my mind why dont you.
    I think it’s a pretty accurate description of a certain type of people, maybe a majority. People want to be needed and feel the security of the idea another can’t do without them

    I can’t count how many times Ive said those words, you’re in love with the idea of me.
    People get pretty mad too when you question their declarations of love. And you know what? I’ve been right down the road every time I’ve said it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. in my experience it is most of them as well. i’m okay with my breaks. they are the ones that can’t handle them. i personally believe the fractures make me love more completely. if they can accept who i am, flaws and all, they deserve every last bit of me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes,
        the way I see this for myself is that I love people’s broken pieces, it’s like art. I love their idiosyncrasies that were created by the broken the neaunxes and such. That when someone loves me they’ll feel the same about mine.
        Although I will also continue to repair the negative results of my broken parts, because some don’t mesh well with life. It’s not so much the broken that needs repair but it’s the aftermath. Yet only I can do that.

        There have been men in my life who’ve truly loved me. But it looks different than some of those who’ve claimed to. Anyone who’s wanted to fix me? That’s not real love, that’s an effort at making me what they want.
        The desire to pocess something they’ve conjured up in their mind.

        If your okay with your breaks then anyone who falls in love with you will be too. ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Similar souls 🤗
        I can swallow it, even though it can piss me off lol.
        But they get super mad and indignantly ask if I’m questining their love and sincerity…….
        …..yes….um, yes I am. Lol 🤷‍♀️

        Liked by 1 person

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