not the things that mattered

she gave me most of her

but she kept the parts that mattered

her mouth explored

her teeth bit

her hands they had their way

but when it came to the part i most desired

her heart

she never gave that away

there was not a piece of her i didn’t taste


tease into a flurry of need

i whispered to her mind

occasionally her heart as well

but no matter how i tried

it wasn’t mine to have

it wasn’t for anyone to have

she never explained

just smiled and changed the subject

she would bite my collarbone

and moan into my ear

but she never truly loved me

in the end

as amazing as we were together

the things we did to one another in the name of passion and need

it was the things she couldn’t give

those were what tore us apart

and even now

when she calls and asks to spend the night

i want to


but i always say no

because of all the things she will do to me

loving me won’t be one of them

and that just isn’t enough

not anymore

17 thoughts on “not the things that mattered

  1. Eh, I think I’m not in the group has one of these.
    I live on the side you live now, sex is sex. But I can satisfy my physical needs perfectly fine on my own. If there’s no love it’s not happening

    Liked by 1 person

  2. She is in need. Don’t hate or resent. She doesn’t know what she is seeking but that she must. It’s lonely where she is. She is seeking out her other half, swimming through the ocean to every island that is a man. Since every man is an island. And she knows he is out there. Because she is also out there. They are seeking each other with single focus of direction.
    It’s like this now. We are the conduit for the new world. We may feel it but the world does not. Just as the gods do not. You should be grateful to explore the land of the gods, but shed the ego at the door, leave your narcissus on the floor. When we strip away the psyche and lose ourselves in our minds, on the wings of love we soar and realise the crowns of thorns.. what once were horns… they too were like us, and we will be like them. Because we are like them. We are them.


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