hushed tones

the silence is palpable, thick and oily and coating everything

been throwing plates against the wall, bowls, you name it and they rebound with nary a sound

i place my ear to the wall, like tonto would place his to the ground, and feel for vibrations

i sense life moving through the wall

the lucky bastard next door has a lovely wife, three adorable kids and a dog that loves to sniff me

i’m sure right now they are cuddled up on the couch watching some inane show and relishing each other’s company

my childhood wasn’t like that

my parents only ever shared an ashtray

he drank

she snarled

well

i remember getting out of kindergarten early in the last day

since i kbew my colors and to o ly eat paste when the teacher wasn’t looking

i passed with muted colors

i busted in and no one was around so i busted into my parents room and they we’re wrestling

so i thought as i leapt into the bed

got a spiderman bicycle out of the emotional and mental scars

so they did that occasionally

luckily i never saw it

except for the one time my daughter opened the car door and a thong fell out onto the ground

which left me red faced and speechless as she asked if the dating was going well

alright twice

but that is all

besides

we all need some scarring

even unintentional scars count

i believe my kids thought i was asexual up to that point

been a while since anyone lasted more than a week or two

they never met the sheilas from australia

thank goddess

if they knew the truth they would never ask if i want a lick on their ice cream cone

jeez

if this thing had an odometer

well let’s just say it would read enough miles to get to uranus for sure

it’s so quiet i can’t tell if my double entendre stuck

like a dome has been set over the room

forgot this was about silence with all the sexy talk no one can hear in this impenetrable bubble

i can open the door

and hear the world

shut it

silence

open

engines revving, people laughing, dogs barking

closed

nothing

when the kids were here it was laughter and singing

now nothing

my bags are packed and sitting by the door

i wonder if the silence will follow me to louisville

on the plane

barely feel them kicking my seat

at least i loaded up my kindle

it’s just too damn quiet

oppressively so

maybe i’m just lonely

broken

3 thoughts on “hushed tones

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