remember when i said i love you

the words spilled across the silence of the room and just hung there

the stillness of it all

you looked like a deer in headlights and I could see you seeking any exit

any path away from those three little daggers aimed at your heart

shot with the unsteady beat of mine

and i knew as they tumbled from my stupid lips

flopped over my thick tongue

and twitched on the carpet between us

i’d made a huge mistake

well forget them

i take them back

call it momentary blind idiocy

it was a joke

ha

ha

ha

get it

you should have seen the look on your face

dread

shock

terror

a gamut of emotional hell

didn’t i tell you before i’m evil incarnate

that these horns aren’t just for show

but self evisceration

how could i love you knowing you could never

ever

never ever

feel the same way back

i couldn’t

what am i going to do

pine away for you over here

wish i could hold you

long to taste your lips

no

what need does someone as repellant as i have for those softer emotions

none

ha

ha

ha

remember when i said

i love you

me either

i say so many stupid things

maybe you misheard me

i had been looking at the art section of the local paper

and there was an ad for a showing i thought you might enjoy

fly above true

an aerial showcase

topographical maps

oh

did you think

ha

ha

ha

no

not me

now if you’ll excuse me

i need to gargle bleach

self flagellate

maybe i’ll see you at the art show

i love you

what

nothing

didn’t say a word