she said if you’re playing with me, you’re likely going to drown

so i dove in headfirst

i let her churning waves and mysterious depths consume me

no need for a deep breath

not in her oxygenated embrace

the farther down i swam, the more i needed to explore

all sensation of up and down were lost

her light made direction obtuse and meaningless

life meant something different

time ceased function

it dilated along with her pupils and swept me along

she warned me, playing with her would be my end

but i had been searching for this ending for as long as i could recall

an end is just a new beginning she whispered without words

a subsonic call like a whale song that wrapped around me in moments of doubt

i let those words take me where she wanted me to go

it was more about the sacrifice than reward

though little bits of my wandering soul argued the reward was the sacrifice and in that did it taint the offering

so i silenced that inner voice and let go

does a dead man know he’s dead

when his whole life he cringed at the idea of living

i feel as if the answer lies here in her

if i can get to bottom of her abyss

she sighed

i went from lover to another curious corpse

unable

unwilling

to be satisfied with mystery

propped up on logical fallacies and self importance i would rather drown than admit defeat

i warned you she said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes