she told me the lamp was magic, that there was a genie inside that would grant three wishes, i just had to rub it, everything would come true

i laughed

then

after she left, i was alone and that lamp sat on the table, her smell filled the room

yes

wildflowers

yes, i know

and my nostrils flared as the scent of her filled my sinuses and intoxicated the oxygenated blood that raced from too quickly beating heart to my brain

until all that was left of me was her scent in my brain and the image of her smile burnt across my retinas

and that lamp sitting on the table

her words echoing in my ears

against my lack of faith, against my understanding of what is and what could never be

against it all

i grabbed that tarnished brass lamp and held it in my hands

i looked around to make sure i was alone but i knew i was alone because she was gone and she was the only one i wanted to be around but she had left the lamp and left the room and left the building

and left me with her scent

left me with a tarnished lamp and wildflowers

and i rubbed that lamp with eyes squeezed so tightly shut it brought tears

i rubbed until the tarnish was slick with perspiration and the tarnish smelled of old pennies

i rubbed the calluses off my hand, the skin off my palm, i left the damned thing soaked with my blood all in hopes of one wish

and all i had was a blood slick lamp, torn up hands

and wildflowers in my head