i gave up your ghost
so long ago
but it still haunts me
in the quiet times
spent alone
building this house of cards
in a hurricane
that tastes like your lips
feels like your touch
across my bare skin

why did you have to encapsulate
my desire
my dream
my yearning

so goddamned right for me
even as we fell
farther and further
away from each other

it was my abandonment issues
that led
to your eventual
abandoning of me
a self fulfilling prophecy
a spell cast into a mirror
a nightmare made real
by uncertainty
forged
in unforgettable delusion
by my own hands

cracked enamel
torn flesh
broken bones
shattered psyche

these were my gifts to you
all i could offer
never enough to say
all the things i felt

what remains
is the words
that circle endlessly
through my mind
as the winds pound
against the walls
as the rains fall
as i drift
upon memory
without you to hold close