i find myself
sometimes talking
to god
which is funny
because i absolutely
do not believe
there is a god
no half assed agnostic
hedging bets
waiting for definitive proof
just a bipolar nihilist
espousing talking to himself
by directing it
at the ceiling
perhaps the issue
is god doesn’t
believe in me
rudely upturning
the nose of divinity
towards whatever ceiling
heaven has
mocking me for
not knowing proper
prayer etiquette
while understanding
it is less pleas for help
but screams of condemnation
i don’t believe
in karmic retribution
or reincarnation
because one trip
sucked bad enough
being spun back out
as caterpillar
eaten by a crow
on repeat for eternity
sounds almost as bad
as anything for eternity
(except loving her)
at this point
i don’t know exactly
what i would do
if god spoke back
but i am sure
i would use her name in vain
with liberal fucks
sprinkled in for good measure
sometimes i find myself
talking at god
while she pretends
i didn’t mention
her granting three wishes