okay to not be okay, okay?

i have a sneaking suspicion
as the bricks fall
to smash down upon
the crowded sidewalk
this is just another
end of the world
worst case scenario
carrying an umbrella
to deflect debris
as everything crashes
down around me
asbestos clouds
billow to obscure
the one way affections
of a fool in a
dying city filled
with the ghosts of
everything he wished to be
nothing but cracked facades
and crumbling edifices
to dreams left unrealized
tentative steps through
the piles of bodies
pulverized corpses
that dont know they
died so long ago
clinging to the filth
coating every surface
leaving little more
than handprints in soot
as i stumble blindly
towards the next
immaculate disaster
unbidden yet calling
from the dirty alleyways
just another lost soul
seeking salvation in
an ocean of sinful regrets

they have festooned
the park with pastel tinsel
set up a stage
kicked out the homeless
to have a fashion show
under an indifferent sun
callously frying
the remnants of feces
from the cobbleston paths
they yell orders
as if the city isn’t
falling down around them
as if we don’t see
the imminent catastrophe
the staggering calamity
as ladies with long legs
prance like gazelles
and the vagabonds glare
as the vapid clap amidst
a shower of falling glass
slicing through flesh
as easily as truth cuts
the lingering dream
from the heart of fools

i sit huddled
as slabs of steel slam
into the roof of the car
feelig the suspension sag
the same way my shoulders
are hunched from sorrow
longing to be buried
to be found in a few
millennia by curious
archeologists exploring
the burnt out husk
surprised at the idiocy
of a dominant species
that hunted itself
into extinction seeking
baubles with assigned values
that defy comprehension
my mummified corpse
clutching my phone
a poem half tapped
a message of undying affection
left unsent
a life spent half lived
fueled by anxiety and
an unending cascade of
meaningless lines
somewhere in the corrupt
heart of a congregation
of lost souls striving
to be seen by a populace
blinded by themselves

if you’re reading this
i am not okay
but i have learned to be
okay with that
so there is that silver lining
left unseen in a cloud
whipped up by the rubble
of another day in dallas

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