somewhere north of ft worth

occasionally
i worry about
the long stretches
of driving
i cannot recall
snapping back
in a brief panic
uncertain exactly
where i am

rubberbanding
between states of
dissociation and
sudden clarity
lost in the maelstrom
of fluctuations
no rudder no guide
never quite sure
if this is my
great escape or
another case of
slippery self indictment

should i worry
about the missing time
when the parts
i can recall with
perfect recollection
are tiny bombs of
fearanxietyhorrorandsorrow
all popping off
with no notice in the
suffocating silence
are the missing bits
likely to be any better

surely not
i twist in the breeze
a stray beam
burning through
the canopy aflutter
photonic dismay
shattering the illusion
of happily ever after
a missed nap
on a lazy afternoon
an accident on
287 south
towards ft worth

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