on death, a litany of love

i have been
preoccupied with
death lately
moreso than
normal when the
walls are pressing
in on me as i
lay wide awake
after hours feeling
too tired to think
now all i have
is these thoughts
ricocheting about
my cavernous skull
using a straw
in a futile effort
to stay ahead of
the leaks springing
up all around me
desperate in equal
measure between
the need for dry land
and the longing to
slip beneath the
beckoning waves

the envious nature
of the ocean’s avarice
in the thrall of
cratered lunacy
an ill-natured mistress
in chill dismissal
yet through this
ceaseless headache
she calls to me in
the thunderous rattle
of my pulse singing
at the edge of shatter
thinking about death’s
billowing robes and
the gleam of the moon
on the wicked scythe
longing to dream of
her sinuous smile
as the waves pull at
my weary leaden limbs

resituating the pillow
so over laden with
three in the morning
whispered declarations
lavender flashes that
light the darkness as
i seek solace in scabs
never learning the
lessons lurking in the
litanies of heartdander
catching flame from
the torch i keep burning
to guide my lover home

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