i dreamt of you again last night

when i woke tangled in the sheets and breathless my first instinct was to wake you and whisper it into your ear

but that was the dream

wasn’t it

that you were here

this awake life is not for a dreamer like me

my sallow skin is see through

and my every wish will not come true

how many times can i write the same lines as the only lines that seem deep are on my face

how many dreams can a foolish dreamer dream before he realizes his life is make believe

i’m a fool

and offering myself to you is the most foolish thing that a foolish fool can do to fool himself

do i stop

stop scribbling lines that aren’t half as great as yours are

do i deny

that i write for anyone else but you

how do i stop doing the only thing i can do that will ever bring my name to your lips

how do i stop dreaming my fondest dream will come true

how do i stop loving you

tell me please

tell me to wake myself up from this hell

this hell inside of me

that you’ll never be mine to hold

make it stop

if you stop then i’ll stop and we’ll both have stopped and the stopping won’t stop how i feel

but i can pretend

that it was my choice not yours and yours was the choice that was the only recourse

am i mad

driven insane by this longing inside me

i say i’ll quit

won’t write anymore foolish odes just for you

and your name is on my lips and my fingers fly across the keys and you are all i can taste in the brackish waters of sorrow

and so they pour out

and i write though i swore i would quit

i write them for you

in the hopes that maybe you will

say my name

whisper it sweetly upon the night breeze

you’ll call my name

and i’ll magically be there with you

if you’d just

text me and call me and hold me and love me and tell me your words were for me

how do i stop

letting this infatuation burn through me

tell me please

i’ll be here

pathetically waiting for you

inside my dreams

tangled up in the sheets soaked with tears

dreaming of you