woke up with acid in the back of my throat
my uvula dancing in the bubbling liquid stress of bad delusions
bad mental health
bad options
spent so many days looking for silver linings i forgot what it means to be me
there are none
if things are looking up
i’m most likely hanging upside down
not blushing
all the blood has rushed to my head
like one of those glass birds with dyed water that seems to peck at the desk
not my desk
no my desk is insomnia
my desk is a splinter grown infected in my thumb from hitchhiking down the road
falling in love with whoever is kind enough to pick me
then being dropped off fifty feet down the road again when they realize they made a huge mistake
an empty state of searching for brighter tomorrows
i don’t have a desk
nor a hope of better anything
just maybe a break from this headache that has settled into sinus cavities and make my jaw hurt like real cavities
woke up early so i could swim in self hatred longer
longing
i was following a trail of chocolates into the woods to hang my head in shame with a licorice whip
but the chocolate was shit
and the whip was serpent
so if you see a shitstained face screaming he’s been poisoned
look away
look away
and if you hear some words that sound like they were strummed off of cupid’s bow
duck and curl into a ball
no salvation comes from that place
just acid in the back of your throat
tying your guts into knots and leaving your mind broken in the aftermath
wishing you were tripping balls from the hangman’s tree
doing soft shoe hovering in mid air for a crowd downtown
i’m not choking to death
my face is always this shade of purple
it brings out my eyes