it’s starting again

that feeling of racing a million miles an hour into a brick wall

incessant mumbling in the back of my head

it’s hot outside

it’s hell in here

the walls are bleeding

it falls in thick globs onto the carpet

black clouds of flies feasting

occasionally taking on human form

whispering dark secrets that cause my brain to melt and slowly pour down my face

i shaved

the razor came away rust colored

i looked into the mirror and saw my face deteriorate

like the end of raiders but in slow motion

the shower sprayed acid across my skin

body wash in decadent decay fragrance

the loofa thick with flesh

chunks clogging the drain

i’m a walking nightmare baby

come give me some love

i’m the lone gunmen

seeking your grassy knoll

degenerative diseases and limbs flopping from disuse

become a horror movie trope

a boogeyman on the loose

been in a dark place

only getting darker

been in a bad place

going from bad to worse

i can hear them banging on the door while i dissolve here in the shower

pounding that i can’t tell if it is in my head or in the causeway

no pretty words today i fear

all beauty has gone away

there’s nothing attractive about a man in midst of dire crisis

hoodoo voodoo under a witch’s spell

cursed and corrupted

where i’m headed none can tell

the signposts have been torn down

the creatures have escaped

the walls are made of human skin

i can’t tell if i’m awake

it’s happening again

he screamed but the he is me i think

i thought i saw a butterfly

but with a tiger’s teeth

someone pulled the plug and it all goes stagnant in the sink

i’m a walking nightmare baby

won’t you come give me some love

i’m the lone gunmen darling

hiding out in your grassy knoll