she looked and his heart raced and stopped in one agonizing moment of dichotomous freezing and burning, he felt like a magician’s assistant being sawed in half, no false limbs though, just ripped in two and flushed with rapturous joy

i’m think i’m done writing love odes

about the things i want but have no hope to get

it seems i spend all my nights writing these spiralling dementia laden lines

maybe it’s time that i stop writing lies

and he knew at that moment, in all surety, this was what he had been waiting for, the her of his dreams, he would lay down his life to ensure her happiness, and he was fine with that, born for that very purpose, the past ceased, only the present mattered

these languid lines of dream stuff

walking daydreams in a world of car crashes and silent naivete

no point to it, any of it

so i’m swearing off of them

kneeling in supplication to her, feasting off her every smile, starving in her dismissal, crashing off her waves of inebriating wonder, drunk off of the sheer thought of tasting her, feeling her, worshipping her

i’ll stick to the things i know

of pain and loneliness and endless regrets

the true inner workings of the mad illiterate fool

of the highest of highs and lows St of lows

she smiled and he knew it was the end of him, the him that had been molting and shedding the past, reborn in the crucible of her immense desire, forged in the fires of passion and set loose upon the world with her etched onto his brain

these feelings may work their way in and out in pedantic wanting

but no more shall they define me

i’m lying to myself because i swore to never lie to you

the he is me and the her is you and together they form the foundation of this bitter compulsion

and the stars are her eyes, and the sun is her smile, the restless feeling in his hands as he yearns to reach out and hold hers, to speak to her with no words, just a look that says what no language can ever express fully, falling endlessly into her magnificence, expressing the unimaginable power of his everything being hers

tomorrow

i’ll stop tomorrow

but for tonight

i’ll lay and think of her