today’s drive was about you my unaware of my existence love

masked intruder’s most beautiful girl in the world sums you up to a t

it says all the things i would say to you if i could whisper in your ear

who am i kidding

i would sing it to you in the car everytime it shuffles up

yes i use an ipod

it was a father’s day gift and the day it dies a piece of me goes with it

the second song was not of my love for you

oh indifferent flame

but it keeps the flame motif

butane by killer mike

not to be mistaken for me

once called the gorilla killa after an unfortunate event at a haunted house years back

see this attraction had a gorilla in a cage

and he just sat there

so i sat on the floor and asked ishmael for the secrets to life

yes i went with an absolutely beautiful literary reference no one got

i do that

it’s just who i am

we turned to leave

the gorilla broke free of the cage

i turned and punched him in the face

his gorilla vest rose dramatically as he flew to the floor on his back

when he woke up i apologized profusely

and the gorilla killa moniker was born

no

butane

is about burning the motherfucker down

down

and that is my feeling this morning

longing for you

dreading the day

i wonder if the day would be better with you waiting at the hotel for me after

would i be able to control myself

promising cuddles but with errant hands exploring

lips searching

tongue tasting

i doubt it

would i blurt out my love or let it sit like stone in the back of my throat

i don’t know

i know what i wish i could do

what i can’t

and what will haunt my sleepless nights

and that is the worst torture of all

isn’t it

loving from another plane

listen to the songs and you’ll be in my size twelve steel toed boots for a moment

don’t linger

the longing is heavy like a neutron star

much like your glow

don’t let it play on

skip skip skip ahead

there’s nothing but emptiness here