maybe we won’t

did you see me staring out of the corner of my eye at you, trying my best to seem disinterested as my heart nearly ejected from my chest, the thin line of sweat on my brow, nervously tapping my foot to the beat in my head

face half hidden by my phone that had a black screen, no signal detected but the one you seemed to project deep into my brain

untouched coffee, unlit cigarette, unfocused mind, unseeing except for the glimmering phantom of you

i was the one that in the maroon shirt, gray shorts, low black socks and velcro vans, shaved head, earrings, fighting a scowl and a smile

you were the one the sun shined down upon in a singular beam of light and expectation, as if your next move would be one to make mountains tremble and oceans boil

maybe that was in my head

i don’t know

cannot separate fact from fiction, the stutter in my diction or my chest, the rambunctious rattle of my rib cage and the tremors of the earth quaking as you pass

as you passed the wind carried my errant love at first glance and i saw you sway your neck as the gnat of my insignificance tried to burrow in

left the coffee and cigarette and wallet on the table as i ran the opposite direction as you, zigging as you zag in an effort to convince the world and myself these rambling thoughts were meaningless coincidences

that is didn’t have the urge to take your hand to my lips and kiss it as a flush crept up my neck, and the pinpoint anxiety of your presence flooded my system with flight or fight mentality

or did you feel it too

a tingle down your spine promising my fingers would one day follow, a tightness in your chest where my heart sought shelter, to build a nest and nurture yours

probably not

but just for a second

a millisecond

there was something

indescribable in the air

a deliciousness of want and need baked into a flaky crust of all too real possibilities

i’ll go for coffee tomorrow and not look for you

maybe we won’t bump into each other

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